What on earth is wrong with me?

Why does no one special love me?
Why does everyone from me flee?
Why am I different from those I see?
What on earth is wrong with me?

I love a man and me he loved true,
Or so he said each day or two.
He said he had issues about trust,
So proof of my love was a must.

I am too fat so must lose weight,
Buy new clothes for our date.
Give up the smokes and booze,
If I love him, I must choose.

I am in deep darkness and despair,
For I see love slipping into thin air.
Transform into another person, dear,
Or I will leave you, that is clear.

For me his de facto he is leaving,
For similar changes she is not making.
But then he gives her one more chance,
So with uncertainly we continue to dance.

Yet to my questions come no answers,
Just more pain and then more dances.
Oh, why is love so hard for me to find?
Will I never find my special one of a kind?

© Sandra Goeldner, 2015.